His eyes were bulging out of their sockets. He had a very sullen, sombre expression on his face, which had turned red, possibly because of the underlying pulsating arteries about to burst. He sat on the edge of the seat with his arms on the table right opposite his opponent. It looked as if they were dueling rather than debating.
He was not letting his opponent explain his point of view. He would cut his opponent’s sentence, quickly pass a judgement, which basically meant how stupid his opponent was (and as a reflection of how bright he was). His carefully selected audience immediately clapped, and his paid staff immediately turned this long debate into a short clip for YouTube and Instagram, after which his copywriters came up with a clickbait title that basically said he had destroyed his opponent. And then, with the help of bots and fellow sympathizers, they made the video viral.
When I saw this short clip, although I agreed with his point of view more than his opponent, I immediately felt that this was exactly how not to win an argument.
For me, there is a difference between winning an argument and settling an argument. You might win an argument with theatrics and a carefully planted audience. But settling an argument basically destroys the opponent’s defense bit by bit, so much so that the opponent himself feels that he has lost, and next time he either should change the topic OR change his line of argument.
I have seen much more intense debates on topics which were much more sensitive, but carried out with a calm and peaceful demeanour. e.g., Rather than burning the books of the Bāṭinī sect, Imam Ghazali (ra) chose to burn the arguments inside their books. A burnt book can always be written again, but an argument that has been properly exposed, answered, and defeated cannot rise again with the same strength.
I feel we should try to settle arguments and not just win them. The best way to do that is to try to understand the line that your opponent is taking to such a deeper level that you can explain your opponent’s argument more lucidly than the opponent himself. Listen to him in a calm and composed manner. And don’t try to put words in his mouth.
And after he finishes, take his argument and defence apart, bit by bit. Make sure you cover all angles and reply to all his points. Sometimes your single sentence would destroy his entire line. This is how you can settle the argument and not just win it.
Obviously, this requires a bit more reading and preparation than a simple fist fight of words. Well, it’s just a thought. You tell me what you think. Till then
Cheeku Panta!!